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Now under the heavy curse of Melusina, Nathan had embarked on the first step to free her and her sister, Melior, from their imprisonment in the Fae Realm on the estate of Count Raymond of Toulouse. Only the sword of their grandmother, Nineve, the Lady of the Lake could lift the curse laid upon them by the jealous Morgan LeFay. Nathan was the perfect fool for Melusina to use. Morgan LeFay, spiteful sprite that she is, had put a curse on the sisters when they attended a festival on the property in the Middle Ages.
Morgan had done this in order to avoid competing for attention of a man, Accolon, and she cursed Melusina and Melior in a jealous fit. Accolon being a bit of a rogue made a jealous Morgan quite unpredictable.The two girls got stuck in a faery realm that no one else had been able to see or perceive for almost 800 years, except for the pure of heart, Nathan the Seeker and his brother Daniel who also had become trapped there.
Melusina's problem was that she and her sister were trapped. It's was a complicated situation. The only person who could fix the problem was Merlin.The girls needed Merlin to revoke the fairy spell that Morgan LeFay had cast that kept them trapped. The problem for Merlin wass that he also had been trapped and was sleeping in a magical tree,Yggdrasil, in a magical cave in Avignon, France. He was put there by none other than Nineve, Melusina's grandmother. Nathan would need the magic of the talisman that is Excalibur to wake up Merlin, who is sleeping in the tree Yggdrasil the world tree. The sword Excalibur belongs to Nineve, so Nathan had to go get it for Melusina's plan to work.
Melusina had seductively given Nathan her list of plans. "I know you will want to get married right away, so I will need you to do this. Wonderland is the most romantic place for a honeymoon. Once you have found Grandma Nineve's stargate you can go in. It's always unlocked there. Her home will most likely be under a spell, but no worries, love! Get the sword Excalibur, which she keeps on the wall above the fireplace. Here are the symbols to the stargate portal to get to the magical dimension where Merlin will be sleeping. Once he is awake bring him here through the portal with these symbols. He will break the faery spell keeping me prisoner. Then he can surely marry us as repayment for waking him from Grandma Nineve's nasty spell."
Nathan had lovingly agreed to go on her quest and set out on the journey. Nathan first traveled by horse to Avignon from Toulouse. Nathan's only driving force was thinking about his love for the beautiful Melusina, and how to retrieve the sword from Nineve, the Lady of the Lake. He had almost four days ride to think about these tasks. Luckily for him, being a Seeker came in handy and fate would bring him an opportunity for more adventure!
Scattach the Shadow had also found herself on adventure and was out looking for some elven cattle for a nice snack. They make the best butter and cheese. Scattach met up with Nathan as he was reaching the lake where Nineve dwells. Nineve was often here in the winter but not the summer. Thankfully she is not always home, which was exactly what Melusina was counting on when she sent Nathan to get the sword during the summer month of June. In his excitement he spooked the herd of elven cattle and angered Scattach.
"What the heck do you think you are doing?" accused Scattach in her angriest voice she could muster.
"I am on a quest for my true love. I have come seeking something. Forgive me and my rude manners please," Nathan calmly and politely offered.
"Hmm. Sounds fun," Scattach replied. She was busy sizing the man up to decide if she was going to attack him or keep talking to him. He seemed intriguing enough. Scattach is known as The Shadow. She is the greatest warrior of all time. She is an Immortal from the times of Atlantis. She is called The Shadow because she moves so fast. She is six foot tall and has fiery red hair.
Nathan being a man of few words walked to the edge of the calm waters of the lake and just stepped right in. Scattach followed him curious at what this guy was doing. They walked into a stargate portal that took them to Nineve's home. The portal was a thin fluid-like opaque veil that on the other side was a cave of quartz crystal illuminating from within itself. Nineve lives beyond the cave of quartz and in an amazing world where gods and goddesses dwell. A gorgeous city of light!
Scattach opened the locked entry. They entered the magical abode of the Lady of the Lake and stole the legendary sword Excalibur. Once they had the sword, they went to find Merlin. When the two of them arrived at the cave entrance they looked around. Scattach the Shadow was on high alert knowing that they were walking into a serious situation. What a strange day!
Nathan called out, "Merlin! Wake up! It is time to go!" The sword Excalibur was glowing inside its gem-encrusted sheath and casts colorful lights all across the cave.
Inside this enormous cave is the world tree, Yggdrasil, and sitting on its limbs were all types of birds.
Morrigan the Crow was there, next to Merlin the Falcon and Freya the Hawk, and Thoth the Ibis. All of them were asleep and put here by Nineve. All of the birds in the tree became awakened and began to transform to their human body form.
Nathan took the opportunity to grab Merlin and get back to the stargate portal to Melusina! Nathan wass not really thinking about how things would change now that he had awakened a tree full of Immortal Birds! He wass just thinking about heading to Wonderland for his honeymoon. O frabjous day, calooh calay!
Bibliography-This story is part of the King Arthur unit. Story source: King Arthur: Tales of the Round Table by Andrew Lang and illustrated by H. J. Ford (1902).
This story is part of the Welsh Fairy Tales unit. Story source: The Welsh Fairy Book by W. Jenkyn Thomas with illustrations by Willy Pogány (1908).
Author's Note- This story is an adaptation of the story when Nimue/Nineve, the Lady of the Lake, puts Merlin to sleep in under a rock. Some of the legends say he is in a cave, some say he is in a tree. In either case he is asleep and not dead. I am choosing to tell the story about what happens when Merlin wakes up for yet another adventure!
I also added the half unit story that I read this week called The Stray Cow that is part of the Welsh Fairy Tales Unit. These stories have helped me to pull together the continuing adventures of Nathan the Seeker.The story of the Stray Cow is fun. The Lady of the Lake has cattle and one of them falls in love with a farmer's cows. People don't usually get to see the cows, but this lucky farmer steals one and is blessed with prosperity because of the lucky cow. When the farmer decides it is time to butcher the magical cow the Lady of the Lake shows up to get the magical cow and the farmer loses his wealth.
The part that I used from The Passing of Merlin is where the Lady of the Lake emerges from the Lake and Merlin falls in love with her to his own undoing, much like how Nathan falls for Melusina. Also, I focused on the place to find Merlin where Nineve put him so we could wake Merlin up. In the story of The Stray Cow I brought in the Lady of the Lakes cattle which had attracted the attention of another Immortal, Scattach the Shadow. She helps Nathan to get the sword Caliburn (Excalibur) and joins in the story.
Don't forget to write it like a story and not an essay :D Add in descriptions, explain the characters (esp Scattach, she just sorta popped in randomly. Why do we care? Who is she? What does she look like?) There is a lot of dryness to this entry. It feels....detached? As if you are walking us through a slide presentation, "And then this happened, and then this, and then they did this thing."
ReplyDeleteI think you would benefit a lot from descriptions in the last part of the story, reaching the lake and what Nathan finds under Yggdrasil. Magical places need magical descriptions! I would especially linger on identifying the birds and their awakening. Does Nathan even care he has released a handful more Immortals into the world, or does the curse give him Tunnelvision?
Example:
Nathan was placed under a heavy spell by the powerful Sprite, Melusina, who is the granddaughter of, Nineve, the Lady of the Lake. Melusina and Melior are trapped on the estate of Count Raymond of Toulouse.
Possibility:
Now under the heavy curse of Melusina, Nathan embarks on the first step to free her and her sister, Melior, from their imprisonment in the Fae Realm on the estate of Count Raymond of Toulouse. Only the sword of their grandmother Nineve, the Lady of the Lake can lift the curse laid upon them by the jealous Morgan leFay and Nathan was the perfect fool for Melusina to use.
Hello again, LaDawn! Thoughts as I read:
ReplyDelete--“The Passing of Merlin” – me: *crying*
--I’m guessing you combined this story with another one from a different unit? *scrolls down to author’s note* Oh, okay, you did. What an interesting choice! I can’t wait to see how you do this!
--“when she have it to King Arthur” – when she *gave* it?
--You’re switching between past and present tense a bit, gotta be careful about that. (This is something that I struggle with a lot too, which is the only reason I noticed.)
-- Nathan calls out, Merlin! Wake up = You forgot some quotation marks in here. Or, if you don’t want Nathan talking out loud, you can use italics to suggest he’s using telepathy.
--I’d suggest breaking up that last paragraph, you have a lot going on and since it’s your last one – you want to be able to pack a punch with it. Last lines are a way to communicate what you want your reader to be feeling as they walk away (or lean away from the screen, whatever).
Overall, I did enjoy the story. However, your tone kept switching. Sometimes it seemed serious, sometimes it seemed playful and trying to figure it out really took me out of the story. So it has a lot of potential, but it just seemed a bit rushed.
Hi LaDawn! I think you did a good job with this story. I was a bit unfamiliar with the Merlin tales, since I had not read them before. But I like the ominous third person voice that you used to tell your story. I also liked the photo you chose for this tale, although I would have put that at the end of the tale. One thing I would advise you to do would be to change the font in the author's note, as it is note the same as that in the main body of your story. Also, if you could give a little background on the characters before jumping straight into the story, it would help readers like me who do not recognize the Merlin stories follow your tale that much more. But overall, good job!
ReplyDeleteHi, LaDawn. I enjoyed reading your story and I think you did well in keeping the flow smooth. Something to maybe add is a small background paragraph to the beginning of the story. I like the picture you chose for your story. Other than that I don't see anything wrong with the story. I look forward to reading more of your other stories.
ReplyDeleteHey LaDawn,
ReplyDeleteI remember reading your awesome story a few weeks ago so I thought I would come back and see how the other stories were coming along. Great job! I love when I pick a story topic and just let the creativity flow out. That's why this class is so great! The narration you provided for this week's story was amazing! I like that your paragraphs are spaced out enough. Sometimes it gets hard to read when it's one big block of text, so good job on that. I would say maybe add a little more dialogue to your stories. Other than that, you are doing a great job! Keep up the good work!
I think it is really interesting that you are constantly integrating different characters from different stories into different stories. It's a really interesting way to make your story stand out, and it was something that I didn't think about when I was brainstorming my stories each week. But it is so creative! And your stories are so intricate! Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi LaDawn,
ReplyDeleteI decided to comment on another one of your stories to see how your portfolio has developed over the past dew weeks.
You are doing a really good job of weaving two different stories into one. I had no idea that you had done that until I read your author's note.
When it comes to your writing technique, the way you have broken up your paragraphs have made it so easy to read and follow along with the story. I think helps push your story along and I really appreciate that.
Not to be picky, but I just wanted to let you know that in your first paragraph, the font changes color about two lines in. I did not know if anyone had picked up on that or maybe it's just me seeing things wrong, but it grabbed my attention.
Other than that, I think you are doing a great job and should keep up the great work for the rest of the semester!
Hi LaDawn, great story this week. I’ve really enjoyed reading your stories this semester. You do a really great job of taking the original stories and telling them in an original way. t and set out on the journey. Nathan first traveled by horse to Avignon from Toulouse. Nathan's only driving force was thinking about his love for the beautiful Melusina, and how to retrieve the sword from Nineve, the Lady of the Lake. He had almost four days ride to think about these tasks. Luckily for him, being a Seeker came in handy and fate would bring him an opportunity for more adventure!
ReplyDeleteI really like this quote. It helps the reader understand his effort behind his journey. I really enjoyed this story and reading your version of it. I also read this section. I really liked your version of this and enjoyed reading it. Good luck with the rest of your semester.