Sunday, October 25, 2015

Week 2, Storytelling, The Fall of Atlantis, Portfolio,

AtlantisVolcanoEnd.jpg
http://www.crystalinks.com/atlantis.html



The Fall of Atlantis


Before the time of the Great Flood there was an epoch of time called Atlantis, like how there was a medieval period of time. The days of the Atlantean period were full of advanced technology and astounding architectural accomplishments. A time when the gods and angels walked the earth with man. Atlantis also became full of corruption and greed. The law of the land went from a state of balance of peace and abundance for all to a state of imbalance and the rule of a few over many. People during the declining times of Atlantis became slaves to the elite and were forced to work in unsafe conditions, worship false gods, be separated from their loved ones and go without food or pay. The people became unsettled and started a rebellion to try to bring them back to a state of balance.

The huge towers and monuments that had been built to honor the gods, like the great Tower of Babel, came under attack because the people were losing faith in the powers of the gods to protect them from the tyranny of the elite ruling class of Atlantis. One of the tallest towers became a tool to shoot weapons into the sky. The rebelling Atlanteans were aiming to reach the heavens, the abodes of the gods with their death rays and atomic weapons that their anger and hatred had built. To start a war with heaven.

As with most times when mortals go meddling in the affairs of the gods, things did not end well for the rebelling people of Atlantis. The gods of the heavens sent the angels who were immortals to handle the affairs of the mortal humans of earth when the declining of Atlantis began. The angels became attached to the mortals because of how beautiful the women were. The human women were like a sweet and forbidden fruit for the angels. The angels angered the gods with their choices and the gods cast them out of the heavens as a consequence to their behaviors. Basically, the gods in the heavens took the ability to time and space travel through portals away and the angels could not go back home. They became known as the fallen angels because they fell from grace of the gods when they mated with the women of earth. The time of Atlantis soon came to an end known to us as the Great Flood. The flood was a consequence to the rebelling humans of Atlantis that started the war with the Tower of Babel. Only a certain few lived through the event to tell the tales of the world-changing events of the war with heaven that caused the fall of Atlantis, the fall of the great Tower of Babel, the Great Flood of epic proportion. Mankind fled in diaspora to many parts of the earth to survive and start over again. The languages on earth became scrambled and people lost the ability to communicate with each other. They  also lost a great wealth of technology.

Some of the survivors of the fall of the tower and of Atlantis  cleverly disguised still live on today. They are known in certain circles as the Immortals.This handful of random survivors, the Immortals appear to live forever, while some others have been killed or have died. They all still have amazing magical powers and treasures. Today we know of their myths and legends as gods and goddesses, heroes and heroines. One of those Immortals that survived was a woman named Ninevethe Lady of the Lake. Her bloodline still exists today, and you have heard of  her most likely in legends of Merlin and King Arthur. Nineve survived the earth's changes and helped to build a new civilization on earth and pass on sacred knowledge like others of her time, such as Thoth the Scribe,  Melchizedek the Priest, Scatthach the Warrior, Parashuram the Avatar of Lord Vishnu and a handful of others. 

 Seal of Melchizedek found at sealofmelchizedek.com


Author's Note: I started this story not knowing where it would lead me. I love the old stories in the Bible, the ones that are so old they come from some other ancient culture. I think the Tower of Babel is a story that actually happened but happened during the time of Atlantis. The Bible also tells us about the fallen angels.The original stories found in the Unit for Noah told the stories from the books of Genesis in the Bible. I tried to keep the main idea of the fall of the Tower of Babel being the fall of Atlantis, when people were sent all over the earth and were unable to communicate for a while.

In my story The Fall of Atlantis, I chose to start the beginning of Nathan's story, a  Hero/Seeker character I have created to retell old stories. It is meant to be an introduction or backstory to the stories to come in the Portfolio I am creating.  Melusina is Nathan's wife who comes from one of those branches of the family tree of Nineve. She exists today in legends from medieval French and English tales of the Merovingian bloodlines. It is said that the royal bloodlines of the Merovingians  are cursed with the line of Melusina the mermaid, a water goddess, but she has lived since the times of Avalon, after the fall of Atlantis. Her story is tied to a Seeker named Nathan that wanders into the path of Melusina unknowingly during the late nineteenth century in France and becomes enchanted by her beauty and magic. Together they set off on an adventures to find treasures left behind by some Immortals, and to take treasure from those immortals who still live!


Bibliography: These stories are a part of the Noah unit. Story source: The Legends of the Jews by Louis Ginzberg(1909).

15 comments:

  1. I really enjoyed reading your storytelling post this week. I think you did a nice job of telling the story of Atlantis. I also really enjoy old stories from the Bible. I think you did a good job of putting it into your own words. You seemed to keep the same ancient tone to your piece as well. I wonder what it would be like if you told it like a modern day story!

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  2. Hi LaDawn!

    After reading your introduction I’m glad to see some of the material from your Heaven and Hell summer class make it over into this class!! I really enjoyed your description of Atlantis. You painted a very vivid picture. However, I wish you had included some dialogue! Also, I love the picture you chose. It really adds a sense of grandeur to your story. Great job!!

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  3. Hello!! This story was great. The first paragraph started off well and descriptive. The last sentence of the 2nd paragraph slightly threw me off. It doesn't seem complete as if it ruined the flow of the paragraph. I'm also the kind of person that loves details, and I was having a hard time with getting into the story. Other than that it was a great story!

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  4. Hey LaDawn!

    I have the privilege of looking at your portfolio this week and reading a story from it. First off, I like the colors of your blog and the pictures you chose for your stories. I think they go well with each other. I also enjoy the fact that it's easy to navigate around and I had no problems finding anything. I decided to read the first story in your portfolio "The Fall of Atlantis," just so I could get a better feel for where your portfolio is going to go since the stories are all linked together. I very much enjoyed reading it! You have great word choice and everything flowed extremely well. I think it sets up the portfolio really well. I also like what the story is about. It reminds me of a book I read called "Fallen." It's one of my favorites! Small things I noticed: I think you should expand a little on the last sentence of the second paragraph since it's dependent. In the sentence that starts with "only certain few lived.." a different word for "events" may be better so that it doesn't seem too repetitive.

    Overall I really liked reading your story and looking at your portfolio. I'm excited to read more and see how it turns out!

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  5. Hey LaDawn! I've always been interested in the story of Atlantis, so when I saw the title I knew I had to read this story! I love what you did with the story. I've always thought of Atlantis as a lost civilization, but you made it more and you carried it into the present day. I'll have to go read your other story to find out more about the immortals. I think you could go a lot of places with this story. I like how you added fallen angels into the story. The way you weaved parts of the Bible into this story was very cool. I'm taking Arthurian Legend and Literature right now so I found the Lady of the Lake part quite interesting. In the third paragraph I would take out the word "basically." It doesn't do much for the story and it's too informal. I enjoyed your story and I look forward to reading more in the future!

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  6. Hey LaDawn,

    The color scheme of your portfolio is very clean, simple, and easy to read. I was interested by the title of your blog so I can read about the falls of history in the tales. The picture you chose to use really helped to paint the picture of the story in my head so I can image the story as if I was there.

    The fact that you could start writing a story and now knowing where it would take you shows that you are a very creative and on your toes writer. The transitions in your story were good and it flowed nicely as I read, but sometimes it is easier to keep the readers attention when the paragraphs are a little smaller or if dialogue was added to better understand the characters or situations. I enjoyed how you were able to relate it back to a more present day story to more easily relate to it. Great descriptions and great pictures, though! I really liked reading your stories and I can’t wait to read more throughout the rest of the semester.

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  7. Hello again!

    One of my favorite disney movies was Atlantis: The Lost Empire so I was so excited when I saw your portfolio was about Atlantis! I really like how you explained the story. I would like to see more dialogue to help connect with the characters of the story. What are they thinking? What do they want to say? Other than that, your portfolio is coming along nicely! I can't wait to read more as the semester continues!

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  8. Hi LaDawn,

    so im not going to lie i just randomly picked you portfolio for extra credit, but i must say i reall like what i have seen so far.
    lets just start with your title, it is very mysterious and pulls me in right after reading you title i want to know more about it. it leaves me with so many questions. who are the fallen? who is the master? where are these people? then in "The Fall of Atlantis, Portfolio" you answer all these questions. very good job on that. I like the combining of stories that you have going on here. the idea of mixing the story of Atlantis with the story of the Tower of Babel. I also really like how your story telling is set up and all your stories are linked together. your portfolio is set up really and is easy to read. over all good job and keep up the good work. I will have to come back and read your other stories.

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  9. Hi LeDawn! I love the older stories in the Bible too, I think that it is so cool that they are so old, they actually come from other cultures! The format of your story is beautiful and I think that the format of your blog compliments your story really well too! The pictures you chose were perfect and I think that they fit in the format really well.
    I think that it is really cool that you created this story to be a backstory or a precursor to the stories to come in your portfolio! It makes me really want to go read the next stories in your portfolio to see what comes next and how they all tie in! The only suggestions that I have is to maybe break up your paragraphs a bit, you can kind of get bogged down in them, and maybe add some dialogue to keep it interactive!

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  10. Hi LaDawn! The idea of the Portfolio looks very interesting. The first image is very thoughtful and it instantly hooks the reader in. Then the introduction is beautifully written, and it explains what to expect very nicely. The layout of the blog and the writing style compliment each other really nicely. The images went well with what you were describing in the story.

    The Fall of Atlantis story is very well written with great details. The details made it look like I was reading a story written by a famous author!! I think this is a great start to the portfolio since this provided a nice start for you to write the other stories. I didn't find any error to tell you, but I do agree with Ann-Marie that adding some dialogue would let the reader get more details out of the story. It would provide another dimension to your already great story.

    Again, great story! And a great start to the portfolio!

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  11. Hi LaDawn. I wanted to come check out your portfolio since I haven’t come across any of your stories since week 1! I just want to say that you have a very creative portfolio topic. I like the way you combined the ancient myth of Atlantis with biblical stories.

    I also like the sci-fi/fantasy hero feel you have going for the main character Nathan. It seems like you have imagined a very complex world as a setting for your stories and that’s a great way to begin.

    I’m not familiar with some of the characters you mentioned and I would love to read more about them. Maybe you could include information in your author’s note about Thoth the Scribe, Melchizedek the Priest, Scatthach the Warrior, and Parashuram the Avatar of Lord Vishnu. Links to some of these stories would be wonderful.

    I can’t wait to read about Nathan and his wife Melusina. It would be tragic if Nathan cannot find a way to become immortal with her.

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  12. LaDawn,
    All of your stories are so original and interesting in their conception. It is amazing that you are able to blend two or more stories into one and make it a conceptually sound single story. I never would have thought to combine the story of the Tower of Babel and Atlantis, but the way that you did it is very different and very creative! Great job this week and happy Thanksgiving.

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  13. HI, LaDawn. I enjoyed reading your story a lot. I like how you tied in aspects from different stories together and made them into one complex story. I like how your stories tie in together and build off another. I didn't see any grammatical errors. The only advice I could think to give you would be to break the story down into smaller paragraphs and maybe add in a few quote to help the reader better relate to the characters in the story. Other than that it was a great story! If I have time between studying for finals this week I would like to read more of your stories.

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  14. I found one I hadn't commented on. Hahaha!

    I think the comment before mine has the right of it. Smaller paragraphs. You might be like 'But then it'll be all choppy!' But truthfully, it actually helps move the action smoothly. Simple sentences, small paragraphs. Faster reading!

    Have I ever mentioned the mantra 'Show, don't tell'? You may try thinking it over when you do your editing to see if there's sentences you can change to show your meaning instead of telling it (always with the 'this reads like an essay' nag, I know, but I will beat it out of you yet.)

    Example:
    Before the time of the Great Flood there was an epoch of time called Atlantis, like how there was a medieval period of time. The days of the Atlantean period were full of advanced technology and astounding architectural accomplishments. A time when the gods and angels walked the earth with man.

    Suggestion:
    Before the disaster known in all cultures as the Great Flood, there had been a time of peace and prosperity in the world. This time is referred to, by those who know of it and its secrets, as the Age of Atlantis. This age was full of wonders of technology and architecture. These feats were brought about the balance of those who lived; the mortals and the immortals.

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  15. That was an interesting read. There were many plot lines that were created in this story. It was tough to follow all of them. I might have focused on one character maybe one angel and a rebel woman. This would be an excellent introduction into a bigger storyline. I am not sure what the true conclusion is. The fall of Atlantis was quick in this story. This story has so many good ideas. I can see how you started and let the story take you. If you had revisited it and broken it up it would be even better. The fallen angels could have been a story on it's on. This story could have focus more on the rebels and a plan to fix their beloved city. I was unsure why they were attacking just the gods and not going after the elite. Did the flood happen before they could overthrow the elite?

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